


Behind Her Eyes She Whispers

by FoundYourWritingOnMyWall



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25913758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoundYourWritingOnMyWall/pseuds/FoundYourWritingOnMyWall
Summary: Not following canon.  This is my take on how Jen and Judy finally realize that they're meant to be together.Will be multi chapter, but I'm not sure how many yet.  Hope you all enjoy it 😊
Relationships: Judy Hale & Jen Harding, Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 6
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

  
_“Judy… I need you to come home.”_

  
______________________________________

She never planned for any of this. 

  
She never thought she’d lose her healthy, fortysomething year old husband to a random hit and run. She never planned on becoming a bitter, middle aged widow with a borderline grief induced drinking problem either. She certainly never planned to unknowingly harbor the woman who had killed her husband on that fateful night… or grow to love that sweet, generous, loving and selfless woman who accidentally killed her cheating fucking husband. That cheating fucking dead husband who had killed her off to breast cancer to his midlife crisis side piece… a fucking newborn with perfect perky tits named Bambi. No, she definitely never planned for that.

She never thought she’d have the police standing in her yard in the middle of the night either, a swarm of officers and an aggravated detective peering down at a body in her blood stained pool, the body of a man she’d just killed floating face up near the pool’s steps. That undeserving man who emotionally abused and manipulated her sweet Jude for far too long… the man who she intuitively knew had been the one to refuse to stop and call the paramedics for her husband when he was hit by their car. 

_It was you wasn’t it? You didn't let her stop and call for help, I KNOW Judy would’ve stopped! It was you!!_

The Judy she knows would have stopped and gotten him help. Judy would never be so cruel, she knows that in her heart to be true.

_Fuck fuck fuck._

None of this was right. Everything about this year felt like a shit storm of wrongs that could never be made right, and the only thing that's felt anywhere close to fucking right since her husband’s death is the person that caused it.

 _Judy…_ Judy with her weird healing crystals, infectious positivity and overflowing heart.   
And Jen had just about told her to fuck off and die.

Even though she wanted to, she could never truly hate Judy… and once those words that were said in anger and born of betrayal slipped past her lips, she regretted them almost immediately. When her emotions finally settled, a part of her felt like a monster for betraying Ted's memory, drowning in the sea of guilt that now came with loving Judy. 

_Loving Judy._

Unable to deny the overwhelming desire for Judy’s presence in her life, Jen came to the harsh reality that she loved the other woman more than she should. And all of those feelings, all of that love she felt for her was totally out of her fucking hands. Yeah, she felt betrayed and lied to, hurt deeply and beyond measure, but before the truth was revealed she felt so incredibly loved… fully, unconditionally and wholeheartedly. 

Judy was the one that did that. She crawled under her skin and became a part of her, filling her with never ending warmth, hope and love.

_Gross… so fucking gross._

Fighting it off proved to be pointless though. Judy had subtly wormed her way into her heart and Jen, despite of all of her rough edges, had instinctively welcomed her in. It was palpable this natural chemistry and sense of belonging between them, a ‘you get me' kind of feeling that she’d always believed to be bullshit between partners, something you only see in movies and never find in real life. This thing between her and Judy felt ethereal and preordained, like an undeniable gravitation of souls. Never in her life had she been so in tune with another human being. Not even Ted. 

So yeah. Hating Judy? Impossible. 

But she said what she said and Judy left… She left taking heed to the venom in Jen’s tone and obvious disgust in her eyes, causing both of their hearts to break all over again.

_Jude please come home… I really fucking need you…_

* * *

  
“Ms. Harding… _This_ is the murder weapon?” Detective Perez asked, one eyebrow raised in disbelief as she held up an evidence bag.

“I didn't fucking murder anyone detective! I already told you that... I was having a glass of wine wallowing over my dead husband when that asshole stormed into my yard demanding to know where Judy was. I told him she wasn’t here and he flipped, saying she was a dead woman for what she did to him and that I was dead for protecting her. There were plenty of not so kind words exchanged between us. He’s a manipulative and abusive prick that’s been treating her like shit for years and he thought he could push me around too. I told him to get the fuck off my property and stay away from my family. Then he grabbed me by the arms and said he would do whatever the fuck he wanted, that I could end up on the side of the road just like my husband if he wanted me to… how the fuck would he know that huh? He said it like he’d been there that night, like he knew more about my fucked up life than he should have. I'm no detective, but I’d look into whether he had a ’66 Mustang if I were you. He had a vise grip on my arms and it hurt like a bitch. He was in a total rage and I thought he was gonna fucking kill me. I wrestled myself away from his grip, he came at me again and the only thing I had to defend myself with is that wooden bird. He tried to take a swing at me so I hit him as hard as I could and he fell into the pool. I freaked out and grabbed him by his shirt to pull him onto the steps. He wasn’t breathing. I checked for a pulse and felt nothing. I don't fucking know CPR anyway, but reviving the person that was just trying to attack me wasn’t at the top of my list of priorities. I literally hit him once, just once... that isn’t some underground dark web murder bird, it's just a fucking knickknack for fucks sake!”

Perez felt a tension headache coming and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

“Can you take off your robe so I can see if there’s any bruising on your arms?”

Jen removed the robe tossing it on a lounger and Perez studied the bruising and swelling starting to form around her biceps.

“That looks like it hurt… I'm sure it’ll look even worse later. I’ll need to take some pictures now and it would be helpful to have some taken when the bruises get darker over the next few days.”

“I told you he had a fucking death grip on me, his hands felt like vises… it’s all on camera detective, one of your guys is recording the footage now.” 

Perez busied herself taking pictures with her phone. Jen looked at the marks on her arms and warm tears flooded her eyes. 

“The lock on the side gate looks like it was tampered with, and there’s one more thing… we found a gun in his pocket, a small 22 caliber. He definitely didn’t come here just to talk Ms. Harding, you should consider yourself very lucky.”

“Oh my god… I can’t believe this is happening, it’s like I'm living in a fucking nightmare. I just wanted to have a few glasses of wine in my backyard and maybe cry it out a little. The only thing keeping me grounded right now is that the boys are with their grandmother and Judy wasn’t home earlier. I don’t even want to think about how differently everything could’ve gone tonight.”

“You said earlier that he was looking for Ms. Hale. Where is she?”

“Hopefully on her way... I called her right after I called you and asked her to come home. I didn’t tell her about this yet, but she needs to hurry the fuck up, I need her here.”

Suddenly, a guttural screaming echoed from inside of the house.

“I live here so you can shoot me now or arrest me later if you want to, but you're gonna let me through!! JENNNNNN!!!”

“The two of you are like a fucking soap opera. Go talk to her, I'll call the medical examiner and see if she’s on her way.”

Jen hurried towards the back of the house and locked eyes with Judy as she walked through the threshold. One look was all it took before both women crumbled into tears. 

“She right, she lives here… can you let her through please”, she pleaded with the officers. 

With the officers finally relenting, the women met halfway in a crushing embrace. Judy’s arms immediately wrapped around Jen’s waist, her hands clutching onto the fabric at the middle of her back. One of Jen’s hands found itself at the back of Judy's head tangling in her hair and the other moved in slow soothing circles over the brunette’s tense shoulders. They spent what felt like a lifetime breathing each other in before pulling away just enough to make eye contact. 

“What happened? Are you ok? The boys?”

“They're fine… with Lorna not long after you left… I… I’m so sorry Jude… I don't even know where to start…”

Jen’s tears were uncontrollable at this point and she was sure as fuck she was ugly crying. Judy pulled her in even closer than before, wanting nothing more than to take away all the pain she was feeling.

  
“It’s ok... you have nothing to be sorry for,” Judy said as she rubbed her back. “I’m the one that should be sorry, always messing everything up and hurting someone in the process… I stir up the chaos and destroy everything I love… and I love you, I love you so much it hurts. I don’t deserve forgiveness Jen, I know I don’t, but if you let me, I swear to you that I'll spend the rest of my life by your side helping you get through all the pain I’ve caused you. I just want to be here for you, always… even when we’re scraggly old ladies sneaking in a joint before bingo night at the nursing home.”

“Jude…” Jen said hoarsely, softened by Judy’s words and half tortured at feeling so undeserving of them. All she could do was hold onto this moment of belonging, of Judy clutching onto her with the same intensity and relishing in the comfort of their reconnection.  
Judy was the first to reluctantly let go, gently wiping the blonde’s tears before moving them toward to the couch. As soon as they sat down, she took stock of her friend and finally noticed the handprints on her arms. Brown eyes met green with fear and concern.

“Jen what the happened to your arms? Who did this to you?” Judy‘s voice was thick with emotion, her hands holding onto Jen’s fearing she’d vanish if she let go.

“Someone came here tonight looking for you… they broke into the yard demanding know where you were and when I told him to fuck off he tried to assault me.”

Judy stiffened at the words looking for you and assault me.

“Steve showed up here? God Jen I'm so sorry I dragged you into this mess… I never meant for any of this, I just wanted to do the right thing. I went to Perez with all of the information I had on him, all the shady shit they need to arrest him and put him away for a really long time. I cleaned out one of his accounts too. I mean I knew he’d be really fucking pissed about everything, but I figured he’d be arrested or halfway to Tijuana by now. I never thought he’d come here… much less get physical, not with you."

_Not with you._

Jen wanted to ask if he’d gotten physical at some point in their relationship, but decided against adding more fuel to an already blazing emotional inferno.

“None of this was your fault Judy. I feel… I don’t know what I feel… horrible, mostly… I never thought… I mean… Steve brought this all on himself.”

“There’s no need for you to feel horrible, they’ll arrest him and now with this added assault charge he’ll probably end up serving a longer sentence. I was so worried when you called, I'm just glad you’re alright.” Judy said with a teary smile.

The blonde breathed deeply before looking down at Judy’s delicate hands in hers.

“They're not arresting him... he attacked me… and I defended myself… he was like a raging fucking animal, threatening you, threatening me… I didn’t mean… I reacted on instinct… and I guess I defended myself a little too well.”

Judy’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the blonde’s words before her attention was drawn to the front door. The officers led an older woman through the house, followed by a younger man rolling in a gurney with a preplaced black body bag at its center. 

“Did you…?” Judy asked with trepidation and Jen could only nod in response. 

Silent tears rolled down troubled faces as they both stared down at their joined hands. They remained on the couch in shock and unmoving, sitting in a mirror image, but unable to look each other in the eyes. It was another long and grueling hour before Steve’s body was removed and the officers started filing out. Before leaving, Perez interrupted the pair and took a few more pictures of Jen's arms. 

“We drained the pool and set it to refill. Don't forget that I need you to take pictures over the next few days and send them to me so I can add them to my files as evidence. If they're not clear enough you'll have to come down to the station. You have my number.” 

Blonde and brunette heads nodded without speaking. Perez turned to leave them to process the evening, but spun around within seconds.

“Ms. Harding, one more thing… I reviewed the footage and your story checks out, all evidence proves you acted in self-defense. Even if his family pursues a civil suit it would be a waste of time and it’s more than likely that you'll never see a day in court. Try to find some peace in that, you did what you had to do, you know? Him or you… the gun in his pocket is the nail in the coffin.”

Judy looked up at Perez and then immediately turned to face Jen in shock anpd horror.

“He had a gun?!”

Perez wanted to get out of there ASAP when she saw the fury of emotions churning in brown eyes.

“Well, it’s been as interesting as always ladies. I'll be in touch, goodnight.”

When the front door closed Judy popped up off of the couch and started pacing. She spoke under her breath unintelligibly and looked to be hyperventilating, rubbing at her forehead and temples in distress. The only words Jen could make out clearly were ‘oh my god’.

“Judy please sit down, you’re making me anxious.”

Judy kept her pace and became more frantic by the second. The weight of the evening hit them hard and it was obvious neither one of them was doing ok. Jen chewed on her lip and abruptly inched forward on the cushion. She felt antsy and tense, completely unsure of what the brunette was thinking. Judy was visibly panicking and Jen couldn’t stand it any longer. 

“Jude fucking stop and look at me!!”

Judy stopped in her tracks and faced her with a pained expression. Jen saw those brown eyes fighting back tears and cringed at herself. Why do I have to be so fucking abrasive all the time… She was no good at this, the comforting of others, but here she was unable to stop herself from falling apart with her. Feeling an unexpected tear roll down her own cheek, she reached out to Judy from her seated position.  
Judy’s feet moved of their own volition and once she was close enough, Jen latched onto her waist and burrowed her head against a firm stomach, anchoring the smaller woman between her legs. 

“I'm so sorry Jude.” Jen whispered, her voice still thick with emotion. 

Judy sniffled while running her fingers through soft hair, gently massaging the scalp.

“It’s ok. You don’t owe me any apologies. I'm not freaking out over Steve… I mean I am, definitely, but not entirely. I haven’t really processed that yet… right now, the only thing I keep thinking about is how differently this night could've gone. Do you realize you could’ve died tonight and it would have all been my fault? He came here for me, for something I did, and he had a fucking gun Jen, a gun that he probably planned to use. You were here alone tonight dealing with him, and that was my fault too. Everything that’s happened over the last year has been my fucking fault… and that guilt weighs so heavily on me, I'm sure almost as heavily as your own grief weighs on you. I don’t know how you can stand being near me right now, how you can look me in the eyes or hold me like this. I can barely live with myself most days. All I know is that I don’t deserve you, but I can’t bare the thought of a life without you in it. I came so close to losing you for good tonight… I wouldn’t bounce back from that. I know I wouldn’t. And the boys… god the boys… I’d be to blame for the loss of both of their parents. How would they move past losing so much? Would I ever see them again? Would they even want to or would they hate me forever? Do you still hate me? You have every fucking right to, but I really hope that one day you won’t.”

Judy felt arms tighten around her before Jen slowly stood up, grazing her cheek along most of Judy’s length before enveloping her in a proper hug. 

“I don't hate you Jude. When you told me about what happened… there were moments where yea, I felt like I fucking hated you. You left me floored and I felt so betrayed, like you'd been getting off on mind fucking me this whole time. What got to me more was that even though you'd just told me the truth about that night, even though you shattered all of the trust I had in you, I still loved you... I still love you. And a part of me feels guilty for loving you, just like a part of me feels guilty for fighting with Ted and sending him running the night he died. I started letting go of that guilt once I found out that he’d been fucking someone else and I'm still fucking devastated at the knowledge that he told her I was dead. And to breast cancer of all things… I cut off my fucking tits so that I’d grow old with him, to be here for him and the boys and that’s how he repays me. After the surgery it was never the same between us, I mean it wasn’t great before, but after, everything was just off. I was unconsciously and indirectly made to feel like I less of a woman. I loved him for so long and I had no idea he could be so fucking cruel. So yea, fuck him. Fuck him for blindsiding me with an affair, fuck him for wishing me dead, fuck him for making me feel ashamed of my scars and fucking with my self esteem even after his death. I still look at myself in the mirror and feel undesirable, less than, like I have fucking Frankenstein tits or something.”

Judy snorted in laughter against Jen’s throat. “I’d motorboat you any day hot stuff, I love your Frankentits.”

“I was wrong, I definitely hate you”, Jen replied in fake annoyance, lifting her head and pushing Judy away from her slightly.

Judy’s hand held firmly onto the back of Jen's neck, fingers stroking blonde hair at the nape, the other hand resting lazily against a collarbone. Once their eyes met Jen saw nothing but love and devotion in Judy’s gaze.

“I’m sorry Jen, honestly… but… you need to know that I love everything about you. From your sharp tongue and give no fucks attitude to your ferocious vulnerability. I love how much of a gentle mama bear you can be with the boys and I love how much of a mush you are with me… for me. I love you Jen and yea, I love your tits. They’re a testament to your strength and to how hard you love. They’re a reminder that you're willing to do anything to fight for your life, to be here for your family,” Judy said as her fingers caressed Jen’s throat and collarbone until she rested her palm right above the taller woman’s breast.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of… I love all of you, every little patch of perfectly imperfect skin. You have to know that you mean the world to me.”

A lone tear escaped Jen’s eyes and Judy kissed it away immediately.

“You’re making me soft Jude....Ew.” 

Judy giggled lightly before responding.

“And you make me feel stronger Jen… I like how I feel when I'm with you, how you make me feel. Do you think you could ever love me without feeling guilty?”

“I started forgiving you once I realized that the Judy I love wouldn't leave someone on the side of the street to die… I know it was Steve that didn’t let you go back that night and get help for Ted. He was there, he said that you were the one driving, but I know you and I know how he treated you… I don’t believe for one second that you’d do something like that on your own. I know you Jude, I fucking know you and I know it wasn’t you.”

Judy melted further into Jen's arms and tucked her face into the taller woman's neck, heavy tears coating the pale skin in front of her.

“I wanted to go back, but Steve… I let him control so much. He always forced things, manipulated situations to do and get what he wanted. He’d say I was being stupid, irrational or too sensitive… he’d get so angry, yell and intimidate, and in the end I would always back down. One way or another he was going to get his way and I was going to bend. It's what I do… I bend until I break and then there’s nothing left but those fucked up fragments of myself, the ones I'm perpetually putting back together. Why couldn't I have been stronger and walked away years ago? I never would’ve met you, but I wouldn't have destroyed your life either. God Jen, I’d go back and change things in a heartbeat if I could… but changing things would mean not knowing you and I know it sounds so disgustingly selfish, but I can’t imagine not knowing you… regardless of how we got here.”

Jen closed her eyes and placed a soft kiss on Judy's temple, “I can't imagine not knowing you either.”

They stood there in the middle of the living room, silent but still full body hugging and swaying gently until Jen finally spoke.

“Are we doing that gross swaying thing when people hug for too long?” Jen breathed a little too close to Judy’s ear.

“Yeah, I guess I'm a swayer.”

“Come to bed with me?”

“Are you propositioning me Harding? Cause if so, then yeah.” 

“I’d have a great comeback for you if I wasn’t so mentally drained… I don’t think I'll be able to sleep much, but I rather be restless with you in a comfortable bed than still standing here.”

“You had me at come to bed, let’s go.”

Holding hands as they walked, the pair made their way inside of Jen’s bedroom and locked the door behind them. Getting ready for bed felt like they had been doing it for ages. Jen went to the bathroom first while Judy picked one of Jen’s oversized t-shirts to change into. Moments after she heard her flush and run the faucet, Judy pulled the t-shirt over her head and walked over to the bathroom door knocking lightly. Once the door opened she brushed passed Jen who had still had a toothbrush in her mouth. Jen went ahead and kept brushing her teeth while Judy did her thing. It was weird at first, but not weird enough to stop her from brushing. By the time Jen turned on the waterpik Judy had washed her hands and grabbed the spare toothbrush from the vanity. 

“I can’t believe you just did that", Jen said once she was finished.

Judy stiffened finally realizing what she’d done. Rinsing her mouth she locked eyes with Jen in the mirror. “I really had to go, I'm sorry, I’m being way too open with you, I didn’t even think about it… I’m totally weirding you out, right?”

“You’re fine, don’t worry about it… I just never with Ted, and we were married for years. We were never open with each other, about anything really… all of those things left unsaid, the resentment. I realize now that we didn’t trust each other with much, especially not the truth… I mean, obviously, if he was taking pills and fucking that newborn behind my back.”

“How anyone would cheat on you is still a mystery to me.”

“I'm no prize, trust me.”

“Yes you are. You’re heaven on a stick remember?”

“Yeah, a stick of dynamite.”

Judy laughed loudly and grabbed Jen’s hand, motioning toward the bedroom.

“C’mon JJ, Facts of Life reruns and your comfy bed await us.”

Crawling into bed, they sat together under the covers with legs stretched out and a mass of pillows propped up behind them. Jen absentmindedly played with one of the rings on Judy’s hand as they tried to watch the episode.

“Can I ask you something about tonight?”, Judy asked quietly.

“Yeah.”

“How did you… you know… do it?”

It took Jen a second to understand what Judy was asking. 

_Like a band aid Jen._

“I hit him with the dad bird you got for Hen.”

“What!!”, Judy screamed as she turned to Jen in a full panic. “Where is it?!”

“In a Ziploc bag on Perez’s desk I guess.”

“We need to get it back, like right now, I left something for you hidden inside of it and if Perez finds it before we get it back we’re so fucked!” 

“Relax Jude!”

Jen dug into her bra and pulled out the small rolled up paper. 

“Here, I found it when I was crying into a glass of wine over you earlier.”

Judy let out a heavy sigh of relief and pushed the check back toward the blonde.

“No, that was meant for you and the boys, to make sure you were all taken care of.”

“Well as much as it means everything that you want to take care of me and the boys, we can’t deposit this thing any time soon without things looking suspicious for either of us.”

“Yeah, you're right,” Judy said as she watched Jen toss the check onto her nightstand.

“We’ll wait til Char gets married or something, then we’ll spend a month in Tahiti sipping fruity drinks on the beach.” 

“Count me in… I think Henry would probably get married first though, his heart’s so full and open to love.”

“My sweet Hen… he didn’t get that from me so he must take after you.”

Judy beamed at the comment before her smile fell.

“Jen?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m late.”

“What?”

“I’m a few weeks late.”

Jen looked at Judy who was staring blankly at the comforter.

“Oh… wow.”

“Yeah.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“I don't know.”

Their fingers naturally intertwined and a welcome moment of silence lingered between them.

“We’ll go to the doctor this week, ok?”

Judy nodded and sniffled, failing to hold back the tears.

“Come here,” the blonde whispered softly, letting go of Judy’s hand and sliding an arm under her shoulders to cuddle her in.

Judy rolled toward Jen to rest most of her body against her, cheek pressed against a full breast and a steady heartbeat. She felt so safe like this… sheltered in Jen’s arms, doting fingers running through her hair and caressing her skin.

Her own arm wrapped itself around Jen’s waist, a seeking hand finding its home along the blonde’s ribs. 

In spite of the series of clusterfucks that they seemed to attract, the aftermath was always soothed by the peace and comfort they found in each other’s presence. Judy filled the void in Jen that was there well before Ted died. She made her feel alive again, like herself again… maybe even better. To Judy, everything about Jen screamed home and she knew in her heart that as long as she had her by her side things would always be ok. 

“Jude…?”

“Yeah?”

“Everything I said earlier tonight… before you came back… I just... I want you to stay here with me and the boys, I don’t want you to leave.”

“I'd stay with you guys forever if you let me. I'll be your ride or die for life.”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck yeah.”

“Good, because I want us to have a clean slate… no more lies Jude, not one more fucking lie between us, no lying by omission, nothing.”

“Okay, I hear you… you have my word.”

Judy held up her pinky and felt Jen’s wrap around it a second later.

“K… good…”

“Jen?”

“Yeah?”

“In light of this honesty pact we just made there’s something… when I left tonight I went to the spot where Ted… where I… I thought it would be better for everyone if I just wasn’t around anymore.”

Jen’s hold on Judy tightened and she felt her heart begin to thump wildly in her chest.

“What are you saying?”

“I was gonna let what happened to Ted happen to me. It almost did, but the car swerved and then you called…”

A cold sadness flowed through Jen’s veins at the bomb of information Judy dropped. What if that car hadn’t swerved out of the way? What if she hadn’t called her, or called her after it was too late? The grave outcomes of the what ifs were too much for Jen to handle. She kissed the top of the brunette’s head breathing in the light scent of her coconut shampoo and bit back the tears forming in her eyes.

“Never do that again, you hear me Jude? You’re supposed to be my roomie at the nursing home when we’re old and grey toking on our medical marijuana, right? So you can’t fucking do that to me... ever.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t say sorry, just tell me you’ll never do it again… I’ll work on being less of a cold hearted bitch and you work on believing that you’re life is never forfeit, no matter how hard we argue or how hard things get. I need you in my life, for all of it Jude, the good and the bad.”

“I won’t, I promise… and I need you too, more than you could ever understand. Like stage 5 clinger need you. I hope you realize you’re stuck with me now.”

Jen’s arms held her tightly and Judy knew she was all in. As they lay in silence holding each other it became clear to them that this night marked a turning point in their relationship. They were each others person. The one constant in their lives that no matter what and without question was in it for the long haul.

“Jen?”

“Yeah?”

“I really fucking love you.”

“I really fucking love you too.”

* * *

  
“Mom we’re home!” Henry screamed as he rushed through the front door, Charlie and Lorna trailing behind him. He ran up to his mother’s bedroom and turned the doorknob only to find it locked.

“Mom wake up!”

Jen’s eyes shot open startled by Henry’s hollering. She tried sitting up, but 120ish pounds of dead weight was wrapped around her like a giant squid.

“Be right there boop, gimme 5!”

Still asleep but slightly jolting at the blonde’s volume, Judy’s hand grabbed hold of Jen’s breast fondling it sensually.

“Jude…”

“Mmmm…”

“Judy wake up…”

“Mmmm… feels so good…”

“Jude as much as I’m enjoying getting felt up we need to go downstairs, the boys are here.”

_Silence…_

“Judy!”

“What… so happy...”

“Yea I can tell, you have a handful of boob in your hand, I would hope that you’re happy.”

“Mmmm… love your boobs… wanna kiss you all over…”

Jen squeezed her thighs together trying to ignore the wetness pooling between them.

“Jude I haven’t gotten laid in ages, you’re killing me here.”

“No killing… love you so much…”

“I love you too, but you need to wake up.”

_More silence…._

“Judy!!”

Judy woke in a fright, the hand holding Jen’s breast gripping firmly as she lifted her head to look at Jen with sleepy eyes.

“What’s happening, you ok?”

“The boys are home, Lorna's probably

downstairs too.”

“K…”

Judy finally took notice of what she was holding onto.

“Have I been feeling you up in my sleep all night?”

“Probably, if my ruined underwear is any indication.”

Judy laughed and ran her thumb across the covered flesh in her hand.

“You see, even in my sleep I love your boobs,” she replied giving the breast a squeeze before rushing to beat Jen to the en suite.

Jen shook her head in amusement and put on a light zip up before making her way downstairs to greet the boys. The bruises on her arms were looking gnarly and she didn’t want to broach the topic of what happened in front of Lorna, not anytime soon at least.

“Hey boop,” she said with a smile pulling Henry in for a hug in the kitchen. 

“Hi mom, I missed you!” 

Tiny arms wrapped around her like they hadn’t hugged her in months and she thanked god that at least one of her babies still loved her hugs.

“I missed you too baby!”

Kissing the top of Henry's head, she hugged him one more time before ushering him to sit at the island. After pouring a glass of milk for Henry and setting up her Keurig, she heard Lorna walk in from the yard just as she was ending a call.

“Sleeping in Jennifer?”

“It’s 9:15 Lorna not noon, I wouldn’t consider this sleeping in. Where’s Charlie and why are you here so early, I thought you said 1?”

“I'm working. I had an emergency call from an east coast client looking for a multi million dollar beachfront property and unlike some people I would never squander a business opportunity. I'm looking at a six figure commission on this one and I’ve been up since seven lining up showings.”

Jen rolled her eyes as she finished making her coffee and started one for Judy.

“Of course, one of those beachfront property emergencies, how tragic for your client… where’s Charlie?”

“In his room sleeping I presume, he was up all night playing that ridiculous game of his.”

Jen was about to get snarky with the redhead when she heard Judy’s bare footsteps approaching.

“Hello Lorna, good morning… Hi Hen! How was grandma’s buddy?”

“Judy!” He jumped off the stool and bear hugged her just like he did his mother. 

“It was good, I showed grandma my dance moves and we watched a movie with popcorn and everything.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun bud, maybe we can have a movie night tonight too.”

“Awesome! I'm gonna go practice my moves for a while, bye grandma!”

Lorna blew him a kiss but looked perturbed as she studied Judy dressed in Jen’s sleep clothes.

“Do you often sleep in my daughter in law’s bed Ms. Hale? Aren’t there other places you could rest your head?” She said with disdain.

Normally Judy would just smile and ignore Lorna’s digs, but she was having a hard time being fake nice to the wretch this morning. 

“What can I say, I sleep better when I’m resting my head on her bosoms.”

Jen spit out her coffee over most of the island and followed with reverberating laughter.

“It isn’t funny Jennifer, flaunting this new relationship in front of my grandchildren is unacceptable. Is it not too soon?”

After handing Jen a wet paper towel, Judy busied herself with the ingredients for her pancakes.

“There’s nothing to discuss Lorna and even if there were you'd be the last to know. I appreciate you taking the boys on such short notice, but really, don’t try to mother me, it won’t end well.” Jen said as she wiped down the countertop in a controlled rage.

“This relationship won’t end well if you don't let your sheets cool down for a respectable amount of time.”

“Would you like a pancake Lorna?” Judy asked with a forced smile trying to diffuse the tension. Lorna nodded and sat down at the breakfast nook.

“My sheets have been cooling for years Lorna, well before Ted… no…. you know what, fuck this… I'm not having this conversation with you. As much as you would like it to be, my personal life is none of your business. If you want to be there for the boys I have no problem with that, but as far as you and I are concerned, keep your comments and opinions to yourself.”

“How could you expect me not to comment on this situation? You moved someone in to my grandsons’ home Jennifer, and into your bed it seems.”

Judy sipped on her coffee and flipped the pancake, itching to interject but deciding to let Jen handle it.

“The subject of who I take to bed is off of the table Lorna. If I decide to fuck Judy in every room and on every surface of this house, it’s my prerogative and I don’t want to hear another fucking word about it. Maybe I’ll fuck her right where you're sitting after you leave.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” Judy said as she walked past Jen with her hands full.

Lorna gasped, but Judy had operated at a chef’s pace and quickly placed the syrup, utensils and finally a beautifully crafted pancake in front of Lorna. Its delicious scent wafted up toward her nose and she grabbed the utensils as if moving automatically. Once Lorna ate her first bite she hummed in appreciation and Judy started mixing a larger batch for her family of four.

Enjoying the moment of silence granted to her by Lorna’s chewing, Jen watched Judy’s muscles flex as she stirred the batter in a large mixing bowl. Leave it to Judy to find a way to shut Lorna up with food and look gorgeous while doing it. Eating the last bite, Lorna daintily wiped her mouth with a napkin and poised herself to get up from the bench.

“I'm pleasantly surprised Ms. Hale, that was more flavorful than I anticipated.”

“Thank you Lorna, the secret’s in the ground flax and brown sugar.”

“Perhaps you can teach _her_ some of your tricks, heaven knows she's lost in the kitchen.”

Jen rolled her eyes and cleared Lorna’s plate.

“Thanks again for watching the boys. I'll text you next week to set up another visit.”

“Well, I can tell when I'm not wanted. You really need to work on your anger Jennifer, it’s unbecoming of a lady. Thank you for the hospitality Ms. Hale.”

Before Judy could even respond, Lorna had already left the house in a huff muttering to herself about Jen’s lack of decorum.  
She looked over to where Jen was standing staring off into the sink, shoulders tense and hands gripping firmly onto the edge of the countertop. Walking over to stand behind her, Judy circled her arms around her waist and hugged her, gently resting her chin on her shoulder.

“You ok babe?”

“She such a nasty twat… and why did you give her a pancake, don't you know you shouldn’t feed the zoo animals?”

Judy laughed deeply and kissed the blonde’s shoulder.

“I put _extra_ flaxseed in hers, with any luck she’ll be shitting her brains out during her showings.”

Jen let go of the countertop and turned in Judy’s arms to face her. She cupped the brunette’s cheeks and caressed them softly with her thumbs.

“I knew you had a mean streak in there somewhere. My evil little pot fairy.”

“I'm like maybe four percent evil… five max.”

“Five percent? I think you’re being generous,” Jen finished with a smile and hanged her arms on the smaller woman’s shoulders, fingers lazily fiddling with brown locks.

“Is that all that’s bothering you, Lorna I mean? You could’ve told her that we’re just friends… gal pals who live together... and sometimes cuddle… and share a bed… and apparently sleep-fondle.”

The memory caused a deep pulse to reverberate between Jen’s thighs. 

“Yeah, she’d have a coronary… that might not be a bad idea actually. And if I remember correctly, it was you doing the sleep-fondling, I haven’t fondled you yet.”

It was Judy’s turn to feel the pulsing downstairs.

“Yet huh? I see where you’re going with this… mama like…”

“Fuck you,” Jen replied pretending to be irritated.

“Gasp! First fondling and now fucking. You could take me out to dinner first you know? We haven’t even made out yet.”

Jen’s eyes glazed over at the thought of Judy’s tongue in her mouth and then… well, everywhere. She didn’t even have time to process those feelings before last nights events came flooding back at her. 

“What is it?” Judy asked in a worried tone. 

“What happened last night just popped into my head out of nowhere… I forgot about it for a second and then suddenly it hit me.”

“I’ve been reminded of it twice since we woke up, but I'm more focused on how thankful I am that you're ok. Let’s try to focus on the good ok?”

“Yeah, you're right… I'm not looking forward to telling Char about what happened last night, though. I can’t not tell him right? Not all the details, obviously, but enough so that he doesn’t feel like I'm keeping things from him. You know how moody he gets.”

“Well he doesn’t get that from me so he must take after you.”

“Touché, the little fucker definitely has my attitude.” 

“Yup, just keeping you honest”, Judy replied with a quick kiss to the inside of Jen's wrist.

“Get a room.” Charlie said, shuffling sleepily into the kitchen.

They reluctantly let go of each other and Judy gave Jen a look that said, _‘now is as perfect of a time as any'._ Judy went back to making pancakes and let Jen take the reins of the conversation that was about to take place.

“Char, sit with me for a minute?”

“That sounds too serious for a Saturday morning.”

“It definitely is….”

Charlie rubbed his eyes and sat down in the breakfast nook while Jen scooted in on the other side to sit across from him. A moment of silence lingered between them and Charlie immediately thought the worst.

“Are you sick or something?” 

“No, no, I'm fine. Healthy as a horse, I think.”

“Did you lose your job? Are we losing the house?”

“No we’re fine, it’s not that…”

“OK…”

Jen couldn't find the words to explain and the awkward silence was becoming even more fucking awkward.

“So are you and Judy like, dating? Cuz you don’t need my blessing you know.”

“What? No, that’s not it either.”

“You sure? You guys looked pretty cozy when I walked in. I'm not a homophobe or anything, you don’t have to lie to me about that.”

Judy put a stack of fluffy pancakes and extra dishes on the table.

“I love that you’re an ally Charlie, maybe you can come with me to pride this year and cheer me on. I’m just a major hugger and your mom’s kind enough to let me be a mush in her presence… you guys eat up, I'm gonna go check on Henry.”

Jen watched slack jawed as Judy sashayed away from the table and up the stairs. She’d assumed that Judy was probably fluid when it came to her orientation, but having confirmation made it real and left Jen feeling even more intrigued.

“You're drooling mom, you sure you're not into her? Cuz it looks that way to me.” He said nonchalantly before shoving a mouthful of pancakes in his mouth.

Jen’s attention snapped back to her son who was obviously way too smart mouthed for her liking.

She narrowed her eyes at him as responded, “we’re not dating, Char.”

“You said that already, I asked if you were into her.”

“Why would you… I don’t… we’re not talking about this.”

“You’re the one who wanted to sit me down all serious and shit to tell me you’re sleeping with Judy.” 

“Dammit Char I killed somebody last night, I'm not fucking Judy!”

Charlie’s fork clattered down on the table and he tentatively looked up from his plate to meet his mother’s eyes.

“Is this some sick joke or something?”

“I wouldn’t joke about something like this.”

“Then what the hell happened last night!?”

“It was self defense…. Judy’s ex came here last night looking for her. He was a total dick and had been awful to her for years. She wasn’t here at the time, but he broke in through the yard entrance and came at me acting like a fucking lunatic. Things got physical and I hit him, cracked open his skull and he… like I said I did what I had to do to protect myself. I just wanted you to know, as much as I would rather you never knew about this it didn’t feel right to keep it from you. I don’t think I want to tell Hen though, I don't want this creating any more irrational fears than he already has.”

Charlie nodded in agreement.

“Wow… just, wow… did you call the cops or did you and Judy hide the body?” 

Jen sucked her teeth in annoyance rolled her eyes just a touch.

“Of course, I called the cops first and then I called Judy…. But Judy probably _would_ help me hide a body if I needed her to.”

Charlie laughed for just a second and then his face went serious again. 

“Are you sure you’re ok? You said it got physical… what did he do?”

Jen shimmied the zip up down her shoulders to show him the dark bruises on her arms. Charlie’s eyes flooded with moisture and she pulled the zip up back on to hide them again. Seeing his distress she scooted her way around the seat finally pulling him into a tight hug.

“I’m ok, your mama’s a beast with a deadly right hook. Fucker dropped like a mic.”

He chuckled and quickly wiped his tears away, looking back at her in awe and concern.

“This is crazy…”

“I know… you can ask me anything you want, anything at all.” 

_Silence…_

“You sure you’re ok? And Judy?”

“I'm fine… we’re fine. Is there anything else you want to know? Are YOU ok?”

“I think I'm good, kind of… thanks for telling me…”

“Are you sure? Is there anything you want to say to me after everything I just told you?”

“Yeah, I would’ve preferred you telling me that you were fucking Judy than have you tell me all of this,” Charlie said trying to hide his emotions with humor and Jen could only sympathize with her son’s deflection.

“Yeah… me too kid. And don’t be so douchey when you’re talking about Judy. Or any woman for that matter. Respect, please.”

“Whatever you say killer, no douchey talk about your woman, got it.” He said as he shoveled in another mouthful of pancake with a smirk. 

_Sarcastic little shit…_

* * *

  
_**Later that night…** _

It felt so good to wash the day away. Judy was right, a long lukewarm shower with that new peppermint body wash left her feeling relaxed and refreshed. When she exited the bathroom she observed Judy sitting at the foot of the bed, eyes glued to the television.

“It’s all yours.” Jen said while towel drying her hair.

“K, tell me what happens. I need to catch up on these reruns before the next season starts, which is soon. Plus, the show’s getting juicy and I don’t want to miss anything important… and please don’t change the channel just in case I need to rewind it. I live for WayHaught scenes, they’re so cute together.”

Judy quickly grabbed her kimono and panties and headed into the bathroom leaving the door partially open.

“Oooook? I have no idea what that is so hurry up before I get bored and put it on Love It or List It.”

“Yes ma’am, be back in a flash!” She yelled from the en suite before turning the shower on.

Even though the show seemed a little too quirky for her, Jen decided to really watch it if only to keep Judy in the loop, of course. She sat up against the headboard and made herself comfortable, a single sided dialogue running through her head as she watched the episode. 

_Are those vampires?_

_The CGI needs polishing._

_That gun is huge._

_Who’s that?_

_Why is she dressed like that?_

_She just kissed… hmm, chemistry's on point._

_Good casting._

After a few more minutes Jude shut off the water and stepped out onto the bathmat to dry herself off, calling out to Jen as she patted the towel over her skin.

“What’s happening? Did I miss anything good?”

“The cute mousey one is wearing like, a Santa’s helper outfit… she’s giving the redhead a lap dance or something… now they’re making out.”

“What!”

Jen heard clattering coming from the bathroom before Judy rushed out in just a towel, underwear and kimono in hand. She grabbed the remote, rewound the show and paused it, taking a seat at the foot of the bed to slip on her panties and kimono. Letting the towel slip to the floor, she stood up, tied the belt in a loose knot and adjusted her undies. Finally ready, she kicked the towel into the bathroom and jumped on the bed to sit flush against Jen who had been staring at her the entire time.

“You okay there Jude?”

“Yeah, just fangirling a bit, I love them together.”

Judy hit play and they watched the rest of the episode in silence… barring whenever she’d girly squeak and grab Jen’s thigh every time the two women kissed on screen. 

When the episode ended Judy turned and said, “I know the show’s a little weird, thanks for watching it with me.”

“I guess it wasn't totally horrible.” Jen replied with a smirk. 

“High praise indeed.”

“It was better than I thought it would be.” 

“Maybe I can convince you to watch it from the beginning with me.”

“Let’s not get carried away now…”

Jen’s reply was bathed in light sarcasm and Judy smiled at her adoringly.

“I got sucked into it on a random Netflix binge before I met you. Isn’t WayHaught like waaaaay fucking hot? Like flame emojis and everything. I dare you to find me a better ship name in existence.”

“What do you mean?”

“Their ship name.”

The blonde made a what the fuck is a ship name motion with her hands and Judy looked at her like she was the cutest little thing ever.

“It’s when you smush a couple’s name together to form one combined name. They used the beginning of Waverly's name and the redhead’s last name… WayHaught. Tell me it's not perfection.”

“Yes Jude, it’s perfection.”

“I told you. Their chemistry translates so well on screen, right?”

“They’re definitely believable. It must be weird though, making out with a co-worker damn near every day.”

“Probably at first, but it has to be easier with a woman too. I’d have no issues making out with officer hottie for hours on end and getting paid to do it, I'm just saying.” 

“I prefer the mousey one.”

“She’s not really mousey once you get to know her character. And yeah she’s cute, but I'm drawn to slightly taller type A's with a dash of butch energy.”

“Just a dash?”

“Mmhmm… you have a dash…”

Jen looked at her incredulously.

“Did you seriously just call me butch?”

Judy's eyes were shining with mischief.

“Don’t give me that look, you’re the one that said you were a Jo.”

Jen opened her mouth to protest, but closed it immediately after.

“….. stop making sense Jude.”

The brunette laughed and leaned into the warm shoulder next to her own.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you this all day, but it never felt like the right time… how did the talk go with Charlie this morning?”

“As well as I could’ve hoped for. He says he’s ok… he also may have shed a tear or two.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. Then he hid his emotions behind sarcasm and humor. I guess he really wasn’t switched at birth after all. He even asked me if I called the cops or if you helped me hide the body.”

A shiver crept down Judy’s spine before she said, “I can’t imagine having to do that. It’s bad enough that anything had to happen at all.”

Jen did what was quickly becoming the norm and slipped her arm under Judy’s shoulders to draw her flush her against chest. Lying there lost in their own thoughts they unconsciously cuddled closer, each seeking out the other in comfort. The quiet was soothing and they knew they’d soon be asleep and dreaming. Just as Jen was about to doze off, Judy broke the peaceful silence with a low rasp.

“We have to take those pictures for Perez tomorrow.”

“We’ll do it in the morning. Did you set anything up with the doctor yet?”

“Yeah, Monday at noon.”

“K, I'll pick you up so we can go together.” 

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

Their late night cuddle turned into a full on body hug and Judy sighed in contentment.

“Jen…”

“Yeah?”

“ I _would_ probably, _definitely_ , help you hide a body.”

Jen’s laugh made Judy’s head bounce on her chest causing her to smile into tank top the blonde was wearing. Strong arms tightened their hold on her and she felt a lingering kiss at the top of her head.

“I know Jude… I know.”


	2. Chapter 2

_**Two days later…** _

“I hate meeting new doctors.”

Judy's knees hadn't stopped shaking since they arrived at the doctor's office.

“It’s either meet with this doctor or wait four excruciatingly long weeks until yours comes back from Timbuktu or wherever the fuck she is.”

Judy let out an exasperated sigh.

“Kathmandu, babe... you know, I'm totally sympathetic to the whole doctors without borders thing, I just wish the secretary would’ve told me that when I called to set this up.”

The nervous bouncing was anxiety inducing and Jen felt herself start to freak out with Judy as they waited to be called in again. When the movements increased in speed Jen placed a hand on her thigh, caressing the soft skin to a halt.

"You could probably play a mean fucking set of drums with how fast those legs were moving," Jen said as she squeezed her partner's thigh one last time before grabbing her hand and entwining their fingers together, finally resting them in her own lap.

Judy gave her a half smile, still freaking out but enjoying the feeling of their thumbs brushing against each other. The appointment could go either way and Judy wasn't sure which of the two she was hoping for.

"Breathe Jude... your blood pressure’s probably through the roof right now and that's not good for the possible fetus swimming around in your uterus.”

Judy closed her eyes and started basic meditative breathing techniques in an attempt to calm her nerves. Inhale deeply into the diaphragm, 1, 2, 3… exhale slowly, 4, 5, 6…

Feeling more centered after a few repetitions, she turned to Jen and asked in a quiet voice, "what if I _am_ pregnant? I mean I want to be a mom more than anything, but when I think of having a child that looks like Steve, a living daily reminder of everything.”

Jen would forever be filled with guilt and a touch of regret about Steve, but she’d also be forever filled with rage and contempt at how he’d treated Judy for so long. He was an abusive and arrogant prick and he had fucked with the wrong one.… Steve got what was coming to him, end of story.

"I know you loved him, and I hope you can forgive me for saying this, but honestly… Steve can choke on a bag of dicks in hell for all I care. You love with your whole heart Jude, it's one of the things I love most about you, but I don't think he could ever love anyone more than he loved himself. He never fucking deserved you or any one of your babies... and I might not deserve you either, especially after everything that’s happened between us. Maybe we don’t deserve each other, or maybe we do in some weirdly karmic way. More than anything, I just I want to be there for you like you've been there for me. If you're pregnant I'll be by your side, taking care of you and the little one like you take care of me and the boys. Probably not as well as you because I'm no Judy fucking sunshine, but I'll do the best I can, I promise you. We'll be like a three child mothering team."

"Mothering team... that's awesome." Judy said with a watery eyed smile. 

Jen replied with a playful smirk on her lips, “Yeah, I'm full of great ideas.”

"What if I'm _not_ pregnant?"

"Then we'll pick out some donor sperm and try one more time. And if that doesn't work out... I don’t know, we can try IVF if you want or we’ll use your egg and I'll carry the baby for you, I mean I'm older now, but it could work… if my downstairs hasn’t atrophied from the lack of traffic.”

Smiling through tears threatening to spill over, Judy looked at the blonde like she'd just descended from heaven.

"You _are_ full of great ideas…”

"You fucking know it. We’ll figure it out Jude, let's see what the doctor says and we'll go from there, ok? I promise to knock you up one way or another, even if it kills me.”

“If you had a dick hidden in those pants why haven’t we put it to good use yet?” Judy inquired as seriously as she could muster.

“So you’d only fuck me if I had a dick? Damn Jude, way to make a girl feel special.”

“I’d fuck you into the mattress with or without a dick sweetheart, I meant that you could’ve knocked me up ages ago. Time's a wastin'."

Jen looked at Judy with a playful glare, green eyes shining brightly at brown with warmth and amusement.

“If I _had_ a dick it would be huge though…”

Judy laughed heartily at her friend’s statement.

"I’m sure it would be epic and majestic, a perfectly proportioned phallus… you already exude big dick energy so it’s not a stretch.”

“Oh there’d be some major stretching alright.”

“We’re gonna need a lot of lube then… and go heavy on the foreplay. You’d make me feel like a virgin, touched for the very first time.” Judy sang those last six words comically trying her best to channel her inner 1980s Madonna.

The blonde’s giggling ended with a cute snort and it was one of the most adorable things Judy had ever heard.

“You know something Jen?”

“What?”

“You're my adorably fluffy fire breathing dragon and I fucking love you."

The thought of a cute and plush fire breathing dragon drew out an involuntary eye roll from Jen.

“I don't do fluffy, I'm a bitch in heels... see?", she finished with a nod to the three inch Louboutins she was wearing.

"You're doing fluffy just fine from where I'm sitting, Harding. Dare I say you're even more attractive when you're affectionate and mushy.”

"Well this deceptively fluffy dragon with underlying anger management issues fucking loves you back."

Judy pressed their clasped hands to her chest before kissing Jen’s hand.

"Sweet talker, I wouldn't have you any other way."

"Judy Hale?" A heavy set older woman called out into the waiting room interrupting their conversation.

“Come on, let’s get this show on the road.” Jen squeezed her hand one last time and pulled the brunette up to join her, leading her down the hallway with a comforting grip.

* * *

Judy was in a strange daze on the ride back home, the words _**you're definitely not pregnant** _echoing loudly in her head. With her hand held tightly in Jen’s lap as she drove, Judy silently proces _sed_ the happenings of the last half hour.

 _“I'm sorry Ms. Hale. You're definitely not pregnant, but your recent bloodwork shows that your cortisol levels are in the elevated range. This can be a possible indicator of Cushing’s or abnormalities in the adrenal or pituitary glands, but periods of_ _high_ _stress_ _can also_ _be the cause_ _of_ _cortisol elevation. An irregular menstrual cycle can be due to the cortisol too. Have you been experiencing more stress than usual lately?”_

 _Jen noticed that Judy had gone mute once the doctor started with ‘I'm sorry’. She ran her thumb over the hand held in hers, feeling_ _a_ _numbed sadness emanating from her friend._

“ _She... we’ve both experienced a lot of loss over the last couple of years… and much of that loss has been recent, sudden and tragic… I’d say she’s been much more stressed out than the average person, we both have been.”_

“ _This must be such a trying time for both of you. I'm so very deeply sorry for your loss and I'm sorry I didn’t have better news for you today. That’s not to say that there can’t be good news on the horizon. In my opinion, even though_ _you’re considered high risk, I don’t think you should give up hope just yet. Your bloodwork says you’re healthy enough for pregnancy, and I understand that your past history might influence you to throw in the towel, but as_ _long_ _as you can really keep your stress under control I think you could try again. Stress is a silent killer and can seriously put your health in jeopardy._

 _I understand that working through grief_ _is_ _a c_ _hallenge_ , _but_ _you have to try to find some sort of comfort in_ _these times of sadness. Whatever form that comes in, as long as it’s not harmful to anyone including yourself, is a blessing. You have plenty of avenues to consider. Diet and exercise are most important for general health, but you may want to go to therapy at least temporarily. If you’re not ready for that right now you can try yoga and_ _meditation, prescription medications, or_ _even_ _increased sexual activity to mitigate the stress_. _Maybe you can start with a relaxing family vacation… when my father passed I spent two weeks camping in the Redwoods with my_ _family. It was a cathartic bonding experience for all of us and we left there feeling much more at peace than we had in weeks. If you’re comfortable in group settings, attending a grief support group might be another option for the two of you to consider.”_

_Jen choked on her laughter before saying to him, “Yeah doc, we’ll get right on that.”_

_“OK.. well, you're all set. I’ll leave some_ _pamphlets here with plenty of information on your options for insemination and IVF. Read through them carefully and decide which route the two of you would like to take… and please feel free to call the office with_ _any questions. Best of luck to you and your wife.”_

Judy’s stomach fluttered when she remembered the doctor calling her Jen’s wife. She’d been subconsciously crushing on the blonde ever since they met and fell head over heels in platonic love with her over time.

 _Platonic_ _my_ _ass_.

Even though she had lived with a handful of lovers, she never felt more like a wife than she has with Jen... and there was nothing remotely platonic about getting herself off many a night to fantasies of those green eyes of hers. Eyes that would lustfully stare up at her between her legs and burn into her soul with such instensity. She’d often find herself staring at Jen's hands and fingers, daydreaming about how they would feel kneading her flesh and stroking inside of her.

_Mmmm... this was dangerous territory._

Playful flirting and unconsciously groping Jen in her sleep was one thing, but crossing the line of friendship was quite another. That was a line she wouldn’t easily cross, and definitely not unless Jen made the first move… but she was sure as shit going to nudge the hell out of it in the meantime. 

Testing the waters and all that, right?

Intuitively, she knew that Jen was _**IT**_ for her, she could just fucking feel it. And if they were to ever cross that line there would be nothing casual about it... it would mean a lifetime commitment, at least on Judy's part, so she was adamant in her decision that casual sex was definitely NOT an option with Jen. 

There was far too much love between them for things to be casual. It had to be all.... or nothing. 

So much would be at risk if Judy were to make the first move herself and he possibility of losing Jen if those feelings weren’t reciprocated sent uncomfortable shivers down her spine. Unrequited love she could bury, but just the thought of risking a severing of their connection felt unbearable.

And to not only lose Jen, but the boys… Henry had quickly become her shadow, her creative mini me that loved painting and crafts. And Charlie that angsty little shit was finally starting to warm up to her. They’d bonded over video games and random things like Storm Area 51, cosplay and Comic Con. 

Their little make shift family felt more real than any family she ever had, and it was already feeling like everything she could ever possibly need.

“I can't fucking believe he suggested that we go to a grief support group.” Jen said breaking her own silence and Judy’s introspection.

Judy let out a genuine laugh and smiled brightly, “I know right, if he only knew. Been there, done that.”

“He’d have us committed if he knew our story. Are you ok though? You didn’t say much at the appointment.”

“Yeah just letting everything settle in my head. I'm disappointed but I’m a little relieved too, which makes me think that I'm a horrible person.”

“I think it’s ok to feel whatever you feel, isn’t that what you always say? We should look on the bright side though, now we can go luxury sperm shopping and pick the perfect donor.”

Judy turned to look at Jen in awe. “You were serious about that? Like, you and me, having a baby and raising a kid together?”

Jen spared a quick glance at her followed by a gentle squeeze of her fingers. “I meant what I said, and aren’t we already raising kids together? Unless you don’t want to try, I can understand why you wouldn’t, but it’s entirely up to you."

“No I definitely want to. I wasn’t sure if you really wanted to or if you just said it to be nice.”

“Ew, I'm not nice…”

“Ok, I take it back, you’re absolutely 100% not nice.”

“That’s better.”

“But you have to admit that what you're proposing is something only a nice person would do. Who else would do that?”

“I guess you’re rubbing off on me in all the wrong ways.”

“Trust me I’d rub you in all the right ways, my hands are certified magical”, Judy added while she wiggled her fingers. “But seriously, to do this… you have a heart of gold hidden behind those walls of yours and I feel so lucky to have you in my corner.”

“And I'm lucky to have you. Look… offering to do this? It’s not something I take lightly and I know if the tables were turned you’d do the same for me. You deserve everything that you want in life, and I just want you to be happy Jude… happy wife, happy life right?” Jen finished with a smirk.

“I can’t believe he called me your wife.”

“Am I not hot enough to wife you up? Wow, that’s way harsh, I may need to rethink this arrangement and file for divorce.”

The ambiance felt so much lighter with their gentle teasing... both women needed this playful banter between them, the welcome flirtation that always seemed to border on the inappropriate. So much had transpired over the last few days and they needed to get back to just being themselves, together.

“Oh you’re plenty hot babe, I'm just wondering when you’re gonna put out. You're slacking in the bedroom and I have needs… major womanly needs that aren’t being met.”

Jen’s skin flushed at the thought of Judy’s every need being fulfilled, thoughts that left her wondering what Judy would look, feel and sound like when she came.

_God Jen, you really need to get laid._

Fighting off the chill running down her spine, Jen replied, “womanly needs huh? I’m obviously not fulfilling my wifely duties, maybe you should punish me later.”

Now it was Judy’s turn to feel flushed at the thought of punishing Jen, images of silk scarves and playful spankings at the forefront of her mind.

“I’ll have to freshen up the downstairs at the rate this conversation is going, we’re talkin' slick city over here.”

Jen barked out in laughter and asked, “are we still working with a lush landscape? I could help you trim the hedges, give you a runway.”

“So willing to lend a hand… maybe I’ll take you for a spin around my garden later, she’s deliciously ripe and ready for the picking.” 

“I guess I could go for a snack…”

“A measly snack? _Pfft._ Honey your cup would runneth over, this is a rich and creamy _cunt_ ry pot pie.”

“Ew Jude! I'm never going to look at a pot pie the same way ever again.”

Judy couldn’t help but snort in laughter.

“You just had to go and make a vagina pot pie reference and make things weird.”

The brunette’s laughter was now a full cackle and Jen gave her the side eye.

“I'm weird, you know this, and I love pot pies!”

“So do I Jude, they’re fucking delicious!”

“Just wait till you get a taste of mine then, mind blowingly good… it’ll change your life.”

Jen giggled as they came to a full stop at a red light near the house. She turned to Judy and intertwined her fingers with the hand she’d been holding in her lap.

“You already have you know… changed my life that is. And even though there’s been a lot of bad, I've felt better than I have in years now that you're a part of it.”

Judy’s eyes filled with unshed tears before responding.

“I fucking love you so much Jen.”

“I fucking love you too.”

“We're such a lesbian cliché… u-hauling after a few dates, crying all the time from the overly emotional conversations… not to mention that we’re going sperm shopping soon, and all while we're experiencing lesbian bed death. Now what we need is a couple of rescue furbabies and we’ll be all set.”

“Yeah, no cats though, they’re inherently evil beings with dark souls, claws and fangs… just like me."

“They’re adorable little fluff balls if you raise them right. I bet my kitten would act like an angel.”

“ _Hmmpf_ , a fallen angel.”

“What’s the matter babe, are you afraid of a little pussy? I thought you were down for petting mine, I promise she won’t bite.” 

Judy finished her sentence with a purring sound and it was Jen’s turn to laugh her ass off as they pulled into the driveway.

“I’d pet your pussy any day Jude, just promise me you’ll never change.”

“Consider it done… it’s a pussy pot pie promise.”

Struggling to put the Mercedes in park over all of their laughter, Jen finally managed to settle down and turned in her seat to face Judy.

“I wish I could go inside with you and just hang out for the rest of the day waxing poetic about vaginas and pot pies, but I have a showing to get to… I'll be home no later than five though.”

“Go make that money baby. I'll wait for the boys to come home from school and help them with their homework if they need it. We’ll have dinner ready by the time you get home.”

“You’re the best wifey anyone could hope for, I don’t deserve you.” Jen said with a smile.

“You deserve so much more than I could ever give you.”

“You already give me more than I thought I needed Jude.”

“So do you…” Judy said, tucking a stray blonde lock behind Jen’s ear.

Jen thought for a split second that Judy was about to kiss her.

“You better get going… good luck today, I'll see you later.” Judy unbuckled her seat belt and gave her a quick kiss goodbye, causing Jen's heart to flutter at the feel of soft lips lingering on her cheek.

With eyes closed she felt the rest of her body warm over, and every cell ignited as she opened them to watch Judy’s hips walking away from her. The giant butterflies in her stomach and the slick wetness pooling between her thighs felt like a smack to the face. 

_Fuuuuuck… He was right._

Charlie was so fucking right.

Jen was unmistakably and undeniably, _**really**_ , into Judy.

* * *

Jen had no idea how she would manage to get through the rest of the day without a true meltdown. All she knew was that just a few minutes ago, she felt disappointed that Judy's kiss didn't land on her lips. 

_Holy fuck._

The ride to her client’s office was riddled with whispered oh fucks, what the fucks and how the fucks, and she was nowhere near closer to understanding when or how her feelings for Judy had changed. Somewhere between the late night wine infused heart to heart’s and morning coffees, or the school drop offs, pick ups and family dinners, Judy had infiltrated Jen’s heart and home with ease. She was a part of their family now, the part that made everything that was fucked up for so long feel normal again. The part that made Jen laugh and smile and feel hopeful about the future. Everything felt better with Judy, like things finally fit and made sense… maybe the whys or hows didn’t matter. 

Regardless of how things happened it was too late to go back to something as simple as friendship after this realization. They’d casually been toeing the lines between friendship and what felt like more for months, and now that Jen understood what had been brewing beneath the surface, she’d unknowingly passed the point of no return.

So why wasn’t she scared shitless? Why wasn't she fighting these feelings with every fiber of her being? 

_Because it’s Judy you idiot… Judy who would eagerly motorboat your Frankentits and probably, definitely help you hide a dead body._

She was nervous and intimidated at feeling so out of her fucking element… but scared?

Surprisingly, no.

As she walked her client through the gorgeous four bedroom contemporary, thoughts of the brunette permeated every aspect of her sales pitch. ‘What would Judy think?’ was the reasoning before every word spoken.

_“This room would be perfect for a nursery, it overlooks the hills and there’s plenty of natural light, especially in the afternoon... The second floor deck has a four person whirlpool hot tub, and the sunsets are to die for, glorious hues of purple and orange that would take your breath away… As you can see the yard design is cozy and inviting, perfect for yoga and meditation…”_

Jen went through the motions as they toured through the rest of the home. Even though she had operated on autopilot for most of it, the showing went off without a hitch and she managed to snag herself an offer above ask. It was now 4:15 and she had just finished double checking the locks at the listing when her phone pinged.

**JUDE: We still on for dinner at 5 or are u running late?**

**JEN: Fives fine, about to head home any minute now**

**JUDE: K, be safe, see u soon 😘😍**

**JEN: Yes dear 😘🤮**

Fucking emojis… Judy had her replying with kissy face emojis.

**JUDE: You’re ‘yes dearing’ me already woman? Get that sexy ass home asap before I end up feeding ur dinner to my mistress**

They were obviously joking, but the word mistress coming from Judy pissed Jen off beyond belief. And the irrationality of that reaction wasn’t lost on her either.

_I'm falling in love with her. No. That’s not it. I’ve already tripped over my own fucking feet and fallen face first in love with Judy… how the fuck did I not see this coming?_

**JEN: Tell this alleged mistress she’s a fucking dead woman if I catch her near my wife or my dinner 🤬😡**

She turned the engine on, plugged her phone into the dashboard charger and buckled up before driving off, still irrationally annoyed at the thought of Judy cheating on her.

Hearing her phone ping, Jen opened the voice message at a red light and was met with Judy’s raspy bedroom voice.

_**“You know I only have eyes for you babe…”** _

Jen smiled at Judy’s tone and felt a throbbing pulse travel over her body.

It was that easy… a few words from Judy with that fucking voice of hers had Jen melting into a puddle of longing and reassurance. Deciding to just go with the flow when it came to this thing between them, Jen vowed to keep her heart open and welcome the shift that was obviously happening in their relationship. 

_Just let things take their course... no pressure._

She wouldn’t push for anything, but she definitely wasn’t going to pull back either. 

**JEN: Ditto babe 😍 see you in 30ish**

She hit send on her phone and flipped the bird at the douche honking his horn behind her. Hearing the phone ping again as she accelerated, Jen tapped blindly at the screen eventually opening the attached link. When the familiar sound of The Flamingos reverberated through the speakers, she raised the volume a bit and allowed her body to settle into the melody.

_**🎵 My love must be a kind of blind love 🎵** _

_**🎵 I can't see anyone but you 🎵** _

And now she was officially grinning like a schoolgirl.

Ew.

* * *

“I only have eyyyyyyyes, forrrrr youuuuuuuuuu…” Judy was in a daydream as she sang along to the song in the kitchen, her body swaying languidly while she made last minute preparations for their family dinner.

Moments later, Henry came barreling into the kitchen just as Judy put dinner in the oven.

“I finished my homework, what time is mom coming home? And do you know if she's in a good mood?”

“She’ll be here in about half an hour. Is everything ok bud?”

“Yeah everything’s good. We’re learning about astronomy now and my teacher made a slideshow of the planets and stars and galaxies. She had these cool animations of pulsars and quasars too, it was so awesome. Have you ever seen the milky way? We watched a time lapse video of it moving across the sky, I never knew you could see that many stars… they’re like, infinite. I wanna ask mom if we can take a trip to a dark sky park or something so I can see it. We can’t see any stars here with all the light pollution which really stinks.”

“It was a very long time ago, but yeah I've seen the milky way. I saw it Colorado for the first time and then in New Mexico a few years later. It was amazing to see so many stars in the sky, there were so many that I could barely make out a constellation. I saw lots of shooting stars too. And if the skies are reeeeeally dark the milky way can just take your breath away… truly awe inspiring.”

“I don’t think I've ever seen a shooting star, that sounds so cool. Do you think mom would go for it if I hit her with these puppy dogs?” Henry said while being his eyelashes.

Judy laughed at his antics… he was so freaking adorable.

“I think she would. Most dark sky areas are in remote places though, and I don’t think your mom or Charlie want to camp out and have to rough it on our mini vacation. Maybe we can find a cabin rental… and I can check Airbnb to see what's available. Worst case scenario we could rent an RV, but we should decide on the where first before we figure that out.”

“K, I'm gonna grab my iPad so we can look at the dark sky map.” 

Judy watched him run off and her heart melted at his enthusiasm. When he returned, they sat at the kitchen island with his iPad, a notebook and wide variety of colored pencils. It felt wonderful to spend time bonding with Henry like this. He made her feel like a mom and that was the greatest gift she’d ever been given. Even if she was never able to have kids of her own, helping to raise Henry and Charlie would be enough… their little family would always be enough. 

They spent the next 20 minutes talking about astronomy while looking at the map and moon phase calendar, occasionally jotting down their top places on or near the west coast they could potentially visit. Henry had color coded his notes based on light pollution and distance from their home and put little stars next to his favorite three.

“OK Hen, we’ve narrowed down the list and arranged them from darkest to… not as dark, I guess. Now all we have to do is get your mom and Charlie on board.”

“On board with what?” Charlie asked, heading toward the fridge to look for a snack.

“Henry wants to go stargazing… I figured we could turn it into a mini vacay for all of us, just a long weekend.”

“What like camping?” He said turning around with a small handful of grapes.

“I don't think your mom’s back can handle camping. We could rent a house or an RV, or book a lakeside cabin. Don’t worry, wherever we go I'll make sure there's Wi-Fi for you… if you’re interested, that is.”

Judy knew that selling this to him without the promise of internet access could be a definite bust. She watched for his reaction and he looked to be actually considering it. Henry piped in at the perfect time hoping to close the sale.

“C’mon Char it’ll be fun, look at these pictures of the milky way! And Judy said we can plan it so that we’re there for a meteor shower, we’d see like hundreds of shooting stars, that would be so awesome! She even said she’ll teach us how to start a fire, WITH OUR BARE HANDS!”

Henry’s excitement was infectious. And the way his tiny hands smacked together and ‘exploded' outwards when he said that last sentence… adorbs overload. It was enough to make Judy smile like the sun and Charlie found himself unable to stop his own from forming.

“Alright Hen, you have my vote. As long as there’s Wi-Fi... that’s non-negotiable,” he said looking at Judy with a raised eyebrow.

Judy’s smile stretched to full capacity.

“You have my word.”

“Yes!! Mom’s officially outvoted, I can't wait to tell my teacher tomorrow!”

Henry did a little dance before hugging Charlie, who surprisingly returned it, and then ran to bear hug Judy. She wrapped her arms around him and ruffled his hair, ending with a soft kiss to the top of his head.

“I love you Judy, I'm really glad you’re here with us.”

How a few genuinely sweet words could make her heart stop and her eyes fill with tears of joy. Judy tightened her hold a bit and closed her eyes trying to temper her emotions. 

“I love you too bud...”, she wiped at her cheeks and made quick eye contact with Charlie over Henry’s head. “I love all of you so much.”

Charlie only seemed a touch uncomfortable, but barely let it show.

“I’m home!” Jen hollered from the foyer, fortuitously interrupting their semi awkward moment.

“We’re in the kitchen mom!” Henry yelled.

The sound of Jen’s heels fast approaching broke up their little love fest and Judy motioned to Charlie to set the table. Henry barely gave Jen a chance to put down her bag before clinging onto her like a spider monkey.

“Hey boop, did you have a good day?” She asked, peppering his face with kisses. As Judy walked past her to help Charlie set up, she gave Jen a gentle caress starting at her shoulder and down to her fingers, lingering at the tips for a moment before letting go.

“I had such an awesome day! Have you ever seen the milky way in the sky?”

Once Henry started talking, he became more and more animated with every word spoken. He told Jen about everything he learned that day and his new found passion for astronomy. Grabbing his mother’s hand, he pulled her to sit on the couch and turned on his iPad. Henry showed her the dark sky map, pictures of the night sky and the color coded notes he and Judy had written down. 

A few minutes later, Charlie sat down next to her on the couch to look at the pictures too. “It could be cool, I wouldn’t mind going.”

“See mom, it’ll be a fun for all of us… Judy said we probably can’t go camping because of your back, but she’s gonna check out some vacation rentals and stuff… so what do you think, can we go?” Henry asked her with his puppy dog eyes on display. She could never deny him much of anything, and if Charlie and Judy were already sold on the idea…

“Sure boop, I'll talk to Judy later tonight and we’ll figure everything out ok?”

Henry squealed with excitement prompting a high five from Charlie before crushing his mother in a hug. 

With a bright smile that reached her eyes, Judy walked into the room to call everyone to dinner.

“C’mon guys, dinner's just about ready to be served, chop chop.”

The boys ran inside first while the ladies lingered in the living room for a moment. Judy held out her hand to the blonde who grabbed it eagerly, happy to be helped off the couch and pulled into a hug.

“I made something super tasty for dinner,” she said with her head buried in the crook of Jen’s neck.

“Good, I'm starving, I might even forego utensils and just dive face first into the plate like a fucking savage.”

“I’d love to see that. Go sit down, I'll be right there.” They let go of each other and Jen sat to chat with the boys for a bit while Judy grabbed the baking dishes from the oven.

Just as the blonde sipped on her wine, Judy placed a small baking dish in front of her causing Jen to nearly choke on the liquid.

“You ok?” Judy asked, rubbing Jen’s upper back. She leaned in and whispered, “I made this one special for you, extra creamy. Aren't you gonna dive face first into it like a savage?”

Jen laughed lightly at the pot pie sitting in front of her and licked her lips.

“I'm fine, just excited about dinner… it looks mouthwateringly delicious... can’t wait to have a taste.”

Judy snorted and quickly turned her attention to the boys.

“Alright Hen, chicken or veggie?”

* * *

Dinner was an interesting affair to say the least. Judy expected to hear Henry talk about their upcoming trip right off the bat, but as soon as the Hardings had the first taste of their meal, they feasted on the dishes with wild abandon.

Aside from the loud chewing, grunting and the occasional muffled _**mmm**_ and _**really** **good**_ coming from Henry and Charlie, she could do nothing but squirm in her seat as she listened to Jen thoroughly enjoy her pot pie. She was rousingly vocal with every mouthful, loudly savoring the taste and texture on her tongue and softly groaning whenever she ate a bite of the flaky crust. 

Much of her dinner was spent listening to and watching Jen devour her meal. Perfectly kissable lips would surround the fork which was then slowly withdrawn from her mouth, her tongue peeking out just slightly to lick her lips before chewing on each morsel. It was ridiculous how every little thing about Jen turned her on.

_God she’s so hot._

Judy’s stupor was unexpectedly broken when Henry brought up the trip again and the room was soon filled with his excited chatter. Even Charlie chimed in at it being ‘kinda cool’ to a watch a meteor shower and had already googled when the next one would take place.

Just like that the date for their trip had been decided. The next meteor shower would peak on a Saturday in three weeks time… through serendipitous circumstances it coincided with the dark skies of the new moon and fortunately, the boys would already be off from school that Friday. 

The stars were indeed aligned.

Later that night, once everyone was freshly showered and the boys had gone to bed, the women shared another glass of wine on the patio sofa in the backyard. The brunette’s nimble fingers typed away on Jen’s laptop, multiple windows open on the screen to compare vacation rentals and listings on Airbnb. They both sat in silence while the clicking of Judy’s fingers on the keyboard lulled Jen into relaxation.

Sitting next to each other on the plush cushions, Jen’s arm loosely rested on the back of the seating directly behind Judy’s shoulders. Her body was slightly turned and leaning into the smaller woman, right leg bent at the knee and resting on Judy’s bare thigh. Judy’s right leg was crossed over her knee with the laptop balancing on it. Her arm tucked itself onto Jen’s inner thigh and fell dangerously close to the radiating warmth between her pajama covered legs. 

The sexual tension flowing between them was palpable… and while that sense of _this is more_ was at the forefront of each of their minds, neither had the nerve to voice it to the other.

“Is it alright if they miss school that Monday? It feels like a waste to rush back after such a long drive.”

“Yeah that's fine, I'm sure they’ll be even happier now.”

“Do you have any non-negotiable requests for the trip?” Judy asked without looking up.

“Yeah, no more than a 5 to 6 hour drive please. If it’s further than that we’ll need to fly… my back will be a wreck if not and I'll end up in a horrible mood and feeling like an invalid for most of the trip.”

“K… I could give you a massage when we get there you know. Certified magical, remember?” Judy wiggled her fingers animatedly in the air before resuming their research.

Jen wondered how magical they truly were as she watched them fluidly stroke the keys and touchpad. She imagined those delicate hands kneading at tender muscles, reverently caressing and tracing a fiery path along her flesh. She imagined them exploring a little further until they were ripping at her clothes and passionately tugging at her hair and scalp.

“What do you think about this place? It’s a little rustic, but at least there’s Wi-Fi for Char.” Judy asked, scrolling through pictures and interrupting the blonde’s fantasies.

“Um… I don’t know Jude, it looks a little hills have eyes-ish.”

Judy snorted in laughter and pulled up another page.

“Ok well this is the only other one within a prime dark sky location, with Wi-Fi, aesthetically pleasing enough for you and only a five and a half hour drive from here. It’s a high tech off grid private house with lots of amenities for the boys… heated pool with a slide and hidden grotto, hot tub, telescopes, the works. It even has an observation deck off the master with an outdoor bed big enough for an orgy, and I like that it’s in a woodsy location rather than the barren desert. The only downside is the price, it’s a little steep for a rental in the boonies, but everything else makes up for it being so remotely located.”

Jen looked at the $350+ nightly charge and shrugged.

“Book it… we all deserve a little time away. Plus, I charmed the pants off of my client today and got an offer above ask at the showing, she was a goner by the time I was done with her. It's a quick close so mama’s got plenty of extra cash to spend on her loves now.”

“That’s great babe! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Judy said excitedly, showering Jen with a thousand watt smile and a squeeze to the knee before continuing to type a message to the host. “And this client of yours better have kept their pants on, Ms. Charming, or you may end up sleeping on the couch tonight.”

“I didn't tell you til now because I was too preoccupied with savoring the taste of your deliciously creamy pot pie. And that’s tough talk glass house when you threatened to share what's mine with your mistress earlier… the fucking audacity.”

Judy tingled when she heard ‘what’s mine’ and met Jen’s eyes with a flirty gaze.

“You’re the only one with bakers access sweetheart, I swear on my vag…”

Now it was Jen's turn to snort in laughter.

“It was delicious though wasn't it? I even put extra butter and a tiny splash of nutmeg in the crust.”

Jen’s eyes rolled back and she moaned at the memory.

“Fuck yes… did you put ecstasy in that thing too? That was my first multiple foodgasm experience so you should be very proud of yourself. I probably gained three pounds that have gone straight to my ass, but it was worth it.”

Judy imagined Jen’s head thrown back and truly moaning in ecstasy. She’d give anything to be the one to help Jen reach a very different kind of climax.

“I aim to please with the multiple foodgasms, I told you it would change your life.”

“That you did… I'll never doubt you again Jude.”

“Good. And you know you’re beautiful so don't worry about a measly three pounds. Besides, I like my women thick in all the right places anyway… and my opinion should veto all others, obviously.”

“Obviously… you're the only one that's been anywhere near this fat ass in at least five years so I guess you’re right.”

“Your ass is top shelf Jen. I'll make sure to give those cheeks some very special attention in my dreams tonight, ok?”

Judy said as she grabbed Jen's imaginary ass in the air with her hands.

“Should I expect another sleep fondling session tonight?” Jen unconsciously licked her lips at the thought of Judy’s hands on her.

“I would definitely pencil it in…”

“I'll mark it on my calendar then.”

Brown eyes sparkled at green until a sound from the laptop interrupted their moment. Judy was the first to break eye contact and read through the message.

“The host just emailed us… we’re officially reserved, checking in that Friday and out on Monday. She’s allowing early check in, which is great, so we can get there as early as noon. It works out perfectly, we're gonna need a decent nap if we're stargazing later that night.”

Judy scrolled through the few pictures of the night sky taken at the vacation rental.

“I mean look at this… I honestly can't wait, I haven't seen stars like this in ages.”

“I don't think I've ever seen that many stars. You can’t see shit on the east coast, same as here. Even when I've gone camping, which was less than a handful of times, the skies were never dark enough to see all of that.”

“You’re in for a treat then. I’ve only seen that many stars on two trips, and each of those nights were just as magical as the others. The first time I saw them was in Colorado at this hippie festival called dreamtime. I tried ecstasy for the first and only time there too. For the most part, I just smoked a ton of pot over the course of 3 nights and stared at the stars. During the day I’d learn primitive skills and other random stuff like how to make bio fuel. At night I’d enjoy the performances and eye fuck the night sky to my hearts content.”

“Eye fucking the night sky. Who knew you were such a poet?”

“I'm a woman of many talents… bizarre poetry and eye fucking are just two of them. And by the way eye fucking _is_ an art form. It’s something that can't be forced, you know? It starts from deep within as this natural affinity, or sometimes as an irrepressible craving for more, until it finally manifests itself as an involuntarily impassioned gaze. I'm telling you, a good eye fucking could potentially ruin your underwear.”

“That sounds strangely erotic… maybe I need to get eye fucked.” Jen replied before swallowing another sip.

Judy wanted to say ‘I eye fuck you daily’, but instead she went with, “maybe you’ve already been eye fucked and just haven’t noticed.”

“If I can’t get laid I at least wanna get eye fucked and know that it’s fucking happening…” Jen finished her glass of wine and set it on the table next to Judy’s before cuddling up with her again.

“So, where else have you seen the stars?”

“In New Mexico with someone I was dating at the time. We spent a week in a cabin on her friend’s family property… it was HUGE, but more than half of it was used as a working ranch. It was in the middle of nowhere and I remember everything outside smelled like manure which took a little getting used to. The skies were perfect for stargazing though, probably the darkest I’ve seen. Even though we had to battle the stench of cow poop we made the most of it… it’s still one of my most memorable moments. To be young and in love, right?”

Jen felt a twinge of jealousy at the mention of Judy’s ‘memorable moments’ with this ex of hers. She wanted to make new memories with her, memories that would supersede all others that came before her. Most of all she wanted to see Judy truly happy, and she wanted to be the one who caused that happiness.

“Can I ask you a question Jude?”

“Sure…”

“What’s one thing that you miss about being in a relationship?”

Judy closed her eyes and really thought about it. There was so much that she missed about being with someone, not just the sex or date nights, but the simple intimacy of being with that person. Those little inconsequential gestures and daily occurrences that could make or break your day.

“Hmmm… there are plenty of things that I miss, but one thing on my long list of things are neck kisses… especially right along the arterial veins where your skin is super sensitive…” she said as she trailed her fingers down the side of her neck.

“Mm, that sounds nice...” Jen said dreamily.

“Yeah, it can be pretty incredible. How about you?”

“I didn’t get to experience much of this with Ted, not since we were a lot younger, but I miss slow dancing… like full on, bodies melding together and moving to the rhythm. He always had two left feet, but love is blind right.”

Judy wasn't much of a dancer, not like Jen, but she definitely had rhythm.

“I want to learn Kizomba, I swear I've never seen anything like it, it's like sex on the dance floor.”

“I haven’t seen it, but I've read it’s like Zouk, just a little slower. It's more of a sensual walk around the dance floor with your partner and depending on your comfort level, a lot of grinding."

“I don’t know that much about dance so I have no idea what Zouk is, but I’ll show you one of clips I watched. I went down a YouTube spiral one night, you know the kind that starts with a search for a margarita recipe and by the end of the night you’re in top ten conspiracy theories territory. I forget what I was actually searching for that night, but I'm glad I happened to click on this one ‘cause the ladies that are dancing together are so fucking smooth… it’s ridiculously hot.”

Quickly opening up YouTube, Judy typed into the search bar and scrolled through the videos before hitting play on the one she was looking for. Once the music started, Jen studied the dancers footwork carefully. Fingers on both hands tapped to the beat around Judy’s upper arm and on the cushion behind her near her shoulder.

“They look beautiful together.” Jen said quietly. “What’s the song called?”

“Morê Morê by Badoxa. It's in Portuguese, but I’m in love with it. The nerd in me even Google translated the lyrics and then downloaded it a few weeks ago. I'll add it to your playlist.”

“Thanks…”

When the video ended, Jen yawned and closed her eyes for a minute. She thought of what it would be like to dance with Judy like this and wondered if the smaller woman was as smooth on the dance floor as she assumed she’d be. Judy just seemed to be the type to lose herself in the music and instinctively move with grace to the rhythm. 

After cueing up a different song and hitting pause, Judy set the laptop to rest on the cushion to her right and got up from her seat, holding out a hand for Jen to join her.

“Are we going to bed Jude?”

Judy simply gestured for her to get up from her seat. Struggling to get up, she stretched her back once she was finally up on her feet. Judy stealthily hit play on the laptop and waited for Jen to notice the song that was playing. Opening her eyes in mid stretch, she smiled at the sound of _I Only Have Eyes For You_ and raised a curious eyebrow at Judy.

The brunette maneuvered them away from the furniture as she spoke. “What? You said you missed slow dancing and I think you deserve a million slow dances so… let’s start with the first of the year… to OUR song,” she finished in a sickeningly sweet tone.

“Gross…” Jen said teasingly, quickly pulling Judy by the waist until they were flush against each other. “And I’m leading.”

Bare feet made for only a two inch height difference between them and Jen quickly placed the brunette’s arms around her neck before wrapping her own around the trim waist in front of her. They danced to the music slowly, heads tucked into each other as they moved with gentle steps around the yard. Dancing that closely caused their eyes to shut in rapture and a rush of uncontrollable arousal invaded their senses. Jen felt Judy’s kimono covered breasts pressed against hers and a delicious warmth grazed near her thigh… Judy felt a similar burning emanating from between Jen’s own and it was driving her absolutely insane.

With their heads leaned into one another, Judy sang the lyrics softly near Jen’s ear… the sound was just above a whisper, but loud enough for Jen to hear its perfect pitch.

_**🎵 You are here…. And so am I….🎵** _

_**🎵 Maybe millions of people go by…🎵** _

As the song started coming to a close, Jen decided to throw caution to the wind and give Judy exactly what she said she craved. Feeling the courage and Sauvignon Blanc racing through her veins, she subtly repositioned the brown locks blocking her path and placed a sensual open mouthed kiss on the side of Judy’s neck.

The response was a slight gasp followed by an almost inaudible whimper and Jen couldn’t fight the urge to place another kiss right along the throbbing pulse.

_Fuck it._

Judy was thrown off balance with the second kiss and let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Searching fingers found anchorage at the nape of Jen’s neck and she held on tightly on impulse. It was embarrassing how easily the sensation of Jen’s wet lips on her skin left Judy’s most intimate areas quivering and aching for more. When the song ended they continued to sway together in silence until finally parting just enough to make eye contact.

“Jude…” Jen whispered breathily. “You deserve a million neck kisses… so I figured I’d start with the first, and second, of the year.”

Judy was so turned on and enamored by Jen that it hurt, and the evidence of that arousal was written all over her face. Jen finally understood what Judy meant... one look and she was already at a steady simmer.

“Wow… did I just get eye fucked?”

Judy nodded before responding. “Yeah… that was a thorough eye fucking. Was it as good for you as it was for me?”

Jen watched the emotions swirling in brown eyes and unconsciously bit her bottom lip in response. She tightened her hold on Judy's kimono and finally answered.

“No… better.”

Smiling shyly, Judy traced the outline of Jen’s lower lip with her thumb. She could easily spend a lifetime mapping every feature on the gorgeous face in front of her… and she was two seconds away from saying fuck it and kissing those lips she so often dreamt of. Not wanting to risk pushing her luck that much further, Judy bopped Jen gently on the nose and gave her ass a playful smack.

“C’mon, let’s go to bed. I promised you a little fantasy ass worshipping and I plan to spoil the hell out of you in my dreams tonight.”

Jen laughed lightly and gave Judy’s behind a quick smack of its own when she walked past her to grab the laptop. 

As they walked back to the house together with Jen just a few steps ahead of Judy, she looked back over her shoulder and said as suggestively as she could, “Who knows Jude, maybe I'll get to do a little sleep groping of my own.”

Judy’s steps faltered and she stood momentarily frozen at the threshold. She stared intensely at the ass sashaying away from her and thought to herself...

_God, I fucking hope so._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long hiatus between chapters, hopefully their length will make up for the wait ❤

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are sincerely appreciated 😘


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